Celebrating Our Successes in the New Year
Dear Shared Heart Friends,
Celebrating Our Successes in the New Year!
Spiritual Chanting January 16, 7-8:30 pm, FREE
A remarkable 90 minutes of singing, chanting (mainly in English), and opening your hearts to the divine. Join Barry and Joyce with guest musicians. Center for Spiritual Living, Santa Cruz
The Couple’s Journey February 14-19
A 5-day retreat just for couples that will transform your relationship. During this retreat, you will be open to more love and connection than you thought possible and have enough time to integrate these positive changes into your lives back home.
We are excited to offer our FREE album of sacred songs and chants, “I Stand for Love,” our first musical recording. You can download the whole album for free or listen to it on YouTube. Wait till you hear the exquisite harmonies added by our son, John-Nuri.
Free Album Download
Listen on YouTube
Excerpt from this month’s article: “At the beginning of this New Year, spend some time remembering and feeling your successes of the past year.”
Our latest book: Heartfullness: 52 Ways to Open to More Love, is available only on Amazon.com as a Kindle e-book for only $5.99 (or paperback for $15.95). Read what one reviewer says:
“I love love love this book!! For me, it’s like a thought for the day … I read — then carry that nugget of love, joy or peace to ponder and bathe in throughout the day, –or even take into my meditations!! such a treasure !! priceless!” –Trish Turpel
Here’s the link: https://www.amazon.com/Heartfullness-Ways-Open-More-Love-ebook/dp/B081K926GY
Unbelievable Book Sale: To Really Love a Woman and To Really Love a Man (each regular price $15.95) now $15 for both with free shipping; and if you buy both, as a bonus, just $3 each (and free shipping) for as many as you want of the following books: The Shared Heart, Models of Love, Risk To Be Healed, Rami’s Book, Light in the Mirror, and A Mother’s Final Gift. Please call Paris at 831-684-2130 to order.
Shared Heart Column
Heartfulness January 2023
with Joyce and Barry Vissell
“Celebrating Our Successes in the New Year”
At this time of year, it is common for people to make New Year’s resolutions, looking back at the old year and finding ways to improve. This is a beautiful thing to do each year, but it is also important to avoid self-criticism if you do not follow through on those resolutions.
An ordinary resolution is to take better care of your body through exercise. At the beginning of the year, gym memberships soar. I used to belong to a club where I went swimming almost daily. In the month of January, it was challenging to find a place to park. I was told that this happens every year. People vow to exercise more. It lasts through January, then gradually wanes, and the parking lot looks almost empty by the end of the year. One of the managers told me that the gym plans to increase January memberships to keep running financially, knowing that most of those people will not follow through. He further stated that if everyone used their gym membership regularly, it would be so crowded they would not be able to operate.
This year, I suggest adding something to your routine of resolutions. How about looking back at the past year and celebrating the successes that you have made?
I will share one superficial celebration of success and a deeper one. My dentist and dental hygienist want me to spend even more time cleaning my teeth each night. They want me to spend ten minutes flossing and ten minutes using my Sonicare for deeper cleaning. They also want me to use a rubber pic and a little brush between my teeth. Then when that is all done, brush with MI Paste. If I looked back on the year in the eyes of my dental team, I would feel that I had failed. But this year, I will look back and see that although I did not do everything they wanted, I never skipped the dental floss, the little brush, or the Sonicare (but only two minutes) and, of course, brushing. I sincerely tried, and that was a success. I can strive to do more, but at the same time congratulate myself for what I did do. It feels so much better to celebrate my successes than criticize my failure to do all that was suggested.
And something much more profound. Several years ago, a misunderstanding arose with a man we loved very deeply. Barry and I wanted to meet and work out whatever caused the misunderstanding. We had complete confidence that we could come to an understanding again. This man, perhaps out of fear or stubbornness, refused to meet with us and instead blocked us from all areas of communication, phone, text, email, Facebook, etc. He then moved out of state, and we had no means to know where he was. I felt very hurt that this man did not allow us to work things out with him.
I could have chosen to close my heart to this man and reason inside that he does not deserve my love. But I determined to keep my heart open and think positively about him. I knew that closing my heart would feel terrible and could cause illness and sleepless nights. Even though I strived all year to keep my heart open, sometimes the anger would come, especially when I thought he did not even give us a chance to work things out. When I was aware of anger, I would force myself to sit down, close my eyes and think of ten positive things about this person. I always felt better after I did that. At the end of the year, as I looked back, I celebrated that I tried to keep my heart open and could think positively about this man. I had slipped into negativity but forced myself to return to positivity. I was not perfect, but I did have some successes. I needed to focus on the successes.
At the beginning of this New Year, spend some time remembering and feeling your past year’s successes. Were you able to forgive someone? If so, that is a big success. Were you able to apologize to someone? Again, that is a fantastic success. Were you able to make some progress getting out of debt, perhaps adding more healthy food to your diet, or learning something new? Did you care for your body in any way, even if you weren’t consistent with your gym membership or other exercises? Did you declutter any part of your living space? Were you kind to anyone? The list can go on and on. Each success needs to be celebrated. You can be very proud and congratulate yourself. None of us are perfect, but we can love ourselves by acknowledging even the most minor successes.
Joyce & Barry Vissell, a nurse/therapist and psychiatrist couple since 1964, are counselors near Santa Cruz, CA, passionate about conscious relationships and personal spiritual growth. They are the authors of 9 books and a new free audio album of sacred songs and chants. Call 831-684-2130 for further information on counseling sessions by phone, online, or in person, their books, recordings or their schedule of talks and workshops. Visit their website at SharedHeart.org for their free monthly e-heartletter, updated schedule, and inspiring past articles on relationships and living from the heart.
Our schedule at a glance (details below — All events are now in-person):
January 6-8: Esalen Couples Retreat
January 16: Spiritual Chanting and Singing
January 18-22: The Greatest Journey (Mentorship Program)
February 14-19: The Couples Journey
Quote of the Month:
“The more beauty we can see in others, the more beauty we can see in ourselves. As we hold fast to the beauty in others, so do we also become beautiful.” –The Shared Heart, p. 58
Please join Joyce and me in holding a vision of a world where women, men, and children of all nations, races, and religions can see and feel the divine in themselves and one another. Here is our current 2023 workshop schedule. Joyce and I would love to see you at one of these events. Please remember how vital this spiritual-emotional growth work is. Let’s take another step into the heart of love and deeper awareness, where real-world healing begins. Peace be with you all.
January 6-8: Esalen Couples Retreat
Learn skills to improve your relationship while luxuriating at one of the most uniquely beautiful retreat centers we have ever visited.
January 16: Spiritual Chanting and Singing
A remarkable 90 minutes of singing, chanting (mostly in English), and opening your hearts to the divine. Join Barry and Joyce with guest musicians. If you are a musician, please bring an instrument and join us.
When: Monday, January 16, 2023, 7-8:30 pm
Where: Center for Spiritual Living, 1818 Felt St, Santa Cruz, CA
Cost: FREE or Love offering to support CSL.
January 18-22: The Greatest Journey (Mentorship Program)
Find and live your dream, your passion, and your purpose! Individually and together with a small, carefully chosen group of 8-14 participants (singles or couples), these six months will help you recreate your life.
February 14-19: The Couples Journey
A 5-day retreat just for couples that will transform your relationship. During this retreat, you will be open to more love and connection than you thought possible and have enough time to integrate these positive changes into your lives back home.
Volunteers Needed. The Shared Heart Foundation needs volunteers. If you would like to support our vision and work, no matter where you live, email info@sharedheart.org.
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Counseling with the Vissells. For individuals or couples needing help, you can choose from one hour to a two-day intensive with either or both of us. http://sharedheart.org/counseling/
Do you ever shop on Amazon.com? Now you can support The Shared Heart Foundation just by shopping online. Just go to smile.amazon.com, sign in like you usually do, specify The Shared Heart Foundation (you only have to do this once), and 0.5% of every order supports us. Thank you for this support.
Our love and blessings to you all,
Barry and Joyce Vissell
Please click on SharedHeart.org for inspiring articles about relationships, consciousness, and our updated schedule.
