Living from the Heart from Joyce and Berry Vissell
Dear Shared Heart Friends,
Living from the Heart: We have now scheduled an in-person Summer Renewal Retreat for individuals and couples August 19-22 (3-day weekend) here at our Home-Center near Santa Cruz, CA. Spiritual renewal, singing, healing, connecting!! Limited to a small group.
We are excited to offer our free album of sacred songs and chants, “I Stand for Love,” our first musical recording. You can download the whole album for free, or listen to it on YouTube. Wait till you hear the exquisite harmonies added by our son, John-Nuri.
Free Album Download
Listen on YouTube
Excerpt from this month’s article: “When I really let go of being in control, I feel the most powerful.“
Our latest book: Heartfullness: 52 Ways to Open to More Love, is available only on Amazon.com as a Kindle e-book for only $5.99 (or paperback for $15.95). Read what one reviewer says:
“This book is unique among the Vissell’s line of books because there are short 2-3 page inspirational chapters with a theme related to what it is to live from the heart, enjoyable to read in the evening when one wants inspiration. The stories always relate to a personal experience and often are little gems that delight the reader. Read and enjoy this beautiful little Kindle book for wonderful stories from two masters in the Heartfulness movement.” –Caroline Cunningham
Here’s the link: https://www.amazon.com/Heartfullness-Ways-Open-More-Love-ebook/dp/B081K926GY
Unbelievable Book Sale: To Really Love a Woman and To Really Love a Man (each regular price $15.95) now $15 for both with free shipping; and if you buy both, as a bonus, just $3 each (and free shipping) for as many as you want of the following books: The Shared Heart, Models of Love, Risk To Be Healed, Rami’s Book, Light in the Mirror, and A Mother’s Final Gift. Please call Paris at 831-684-2130 to order.
Shared Heart Column Heartfulness August 2021 with Joyce and Barry Vissell
“The Power of Powerlessness”
There is a rapid on the Rogue River called Rainie Falls. There are three choices of routes. The main fall is a class five drop through very turbulent water. I have successfully run this rapid as a paddler in our daughter, Rami’s, boat, with her at the oars in the back. However, the last two times I tried this, the powerful turbulence knocked me out of the raft. (You can watch the 2-minute video of this here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Epl8RhHuefc) I have now made a wise choice to no longer push myself in this way.
There is a middle chute that I have also found rather difficult. And then there’s the third choice, called the Fish Ladder, a narrow human-made diversion channel that bypasses the falls. It’s referred to as the “easy” route. It is anything but easy. It requires skill to navigate to the top through a maze of boulders, and then set up, aiming your boat down the channel. Perhaps, with paddlers in the raft, there can be some control during this run. But, alas, I am usually alone in the back with oars so long that they are completely worthless in the narrow confines of the channel. Joyce, in her infinite wisdom, chooses to walk on the trail with the dogs around the whole messy business.
I have tried shipping the oars (putting them into the raft) and trying to control the boat with a paddle. This has never fully worked. Okay, maybe a little.
What really works is for me to accept my powerlessness, my helplessness, that I really have very little control in this situation. I pray for Spirit to guide me safely through this rapid. I ask the angels for their loving protection. And then I trust or try to trust. (I haven’t perfected this yet.)
Do I hit rocks? Yes. Do I bounce off? Usually. Do I feel like a human pinball? Absolutely. Do I sometimes get stuck? Yes. Do I get unstuck? So far, yes. The whole thing is an exercise of trust, a clear situation where I’m not in control, where I have a chance to accept my powerlessness.
And when I finally pop out into the main river channel, get the oars back into the water, and head down to where Joyce and the dogs are waiting for me, I give thanks for this all-powerful spiritual presence. But I also take a good look at my whole life and the truth that I (in terms of my little self, my ego) am simply not in control. It’s my Higher Self, God, Spirit, Heavenly Mother, and Father, that is in control.
My true challenge in this life (and perhaps yours as well) is to embrace my human powerlessness, to not just pay lip service to this concept, but to accept it with all my heart. And like the title of this column, I want to find the power in my powerlessness. Because, when I really let go of being in control, I feel the most powerful. It’s such a beautiful paradox. Even in the Rainie Falls Fish Ladder, there’s an exhilaration when I finally let go and let the raft be guided by higher forces than my human hands.
To understand that all of life can be lived in this way is to live in serenity and joy. Only when we can accept our human powerlessness, can we know our spiritual power. Being in control is thoroughly over-rated!
It doesn’t mean sit back and relax, and watch life go by. It’s like the famous serenity prayer written by the American theologian Reinhold Niebuhr: “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” Or one of my favorite Sufi quotes: “Trust in Allah, but tether your camel.”
When we wanted to publish our first book, The Shared Heart, we got rejected by every publisher. Then we came across this quote in a book about self-publishing: “There are those who make things happen; those who watch things happen; and those who wonder what happened.” Even though we are not ultimately in control, we still must do our absolute best. That one quote empowered us to very successfully self-publish The Shared Heart.
Then there was the time when we were twenty-five that Joyce left me after I had an affair with her friend. I was asserting that I did not need love, and I certainly didn’t need Joyce. At the time, it was a sign of weakness to need love. Through my deep suffering of losing Joyce, I not only learned that I needed Joyce’s love, but I learned that I needed God’s love. And, to this day, as I feel my need for Joyce, for friends, for all of humanity, and for Spirit, I feel the most powerful.
The greatest humility is to surrender to our need for this Higher Power. Do all that you can, but know when you are at your limit, then let go of control and pray to God and the Great Helpers to do the rest. Joyce and I sit together each morning for a time of meditation. After this time of silence, we hold each other to thank God, then we surrender our lives, our problems, our burdens, anything and everything that is weighing upon us, into the more capable hands of our Higher Selves, the Presence of God within and all around us. It’s the most important part of our day, and the time when we actually feel the power of our powerlessness.
Joyce & Barry Vissell, a nurse/therapist and psychiatrist couple since 1964, are counselors near Santa Cruz, CA, who are passionate about conscious relationships and personal spiritual growth. They are the authors of 9 books and a new free audio album of sacred songs and chants. Call 831-684-2130 for further information on counseling sessions by phone, online, or in person, their books, recordings, or their schedule of talks and workshops. Visit their website at SharedHeart.org for their free monthly e-heartletter, their updated schedule, and inspiring past articles on many topics about relationships and living from the heart.
Our schedule at a glance (details below — All events are now in-person):
August 19-22: Summer Renewal Retreat
November 3-7: The Greatest Journey
November 12-14: Autumn Couples Retreat
Quote of the Month: “Rather than pretending to be strong and independent, we can find our true strength by freely admitting our human emotional need. The humble person is not afraid of dependence.” – The Shared Heart, p. 24
Please join Joyce and me in holding a vision of a world where women, men, and children of all nations, races, and religions can see and feel the divine in themselves and one another. Here is our current 2021-2022 workshop schedule. Joyce and I would love to see you at one of these events. Please remember how important this spiritual-emotional growth work is. Together let’s take another step on this journey into the heart of love and deeper awareness, where real-world healing begins. Peace be with you all.
August 19-22
Summer Renewal Retreat
Singles and couples. We have now scheduled an in-person 3-day weekend here at our Home-Center near Santa Cruz, CA. Spiritual renewal, singing, connecting!! Limited to a small group.
Nov 3-7
The Greatest Journey
Our 6-month mentorship program is for women who want to open to the fullness of life, love, and purpose.
Nov 12-14
Autumn Couples Retreat
For couples wanting even more love and connection in their relationship
Volunteers Needed. The Shared Heart Foundation needs volunteers. If you would like to support our vision and work, no matter where you live, email vissell@sharedheart.org
Counseling with the Vissells. For individuals or couples who need help, you can choose from one hour to a two-day intensive with either one or both of us. http://sharedheart.org/counseling/
For children, teens, or young adults, our daughter, Rami, can be reached at ramivissellphd@hotmail.com.
Do you ever shop on Amazon.com?Now you can support The Shared Heart Foundation just by shopping online? Just go to smile.amazon.com, sign in like you normally do, specify The Shared Heart Foundation (you only have to do this once), and 0.5% of every order supports us. Thank you for this support.
Our love and blessings to you all,
Barry and Joyce Vissell
Please click on SharedHeart.org for inspiring articles about relationships and consciousness, as well as our updated schedule.
