When We Criticize Another-Daily Meditation July 26, 2023
Today’s quotation:
When we criticize another person, it says nothing about that person; it merely says something about our own need to be critical.-Richard Carlson
Today’s Meditation:
“Criticism” is one word with two sides to it, like “compromise.” It’s a word that covers two separate concepts, one generally positive and one generally negative, and it’s in our best interests to understand the differences between the two fully and not use them interchangeably. I can be critical positively by looking for ways to improve something and help others, or I can be damaging and harm others by criticizing them personally instead of criticizing what they’ve done.
I always ask myself, “Is my criticism constructive or destructive?” Constructive criticism, as we all know, helps other people improve on something they’ve done or are doing. As a teacher, giving constructive criticism is one of my primary responsibilities. However, I know too many teachers who seem to feel that their destructive criticism is helpful to the students they’re supposed to be teaching. However, Destructive criticism shuts down creativity, destroys the desire to improve, and prevents people from feeling anything like pride or satisfaction.
When I criticize in a harmful or destructive way, I tell the world I’m trying to make myself feel better by putting someone down. While I may think that I’m saying, “Look, world, at how intelligent and clever I am,” I’m actually saying, “Hey, look–I can be a real jerk.” And while I’m doing that, I’m hurting someone else, too- it is a lose-lose strategy.
When I criticize constructively, though, I’m not making any personal attacks and offering heartfelt suggestions for improvement. There is no self-aggrandizement involved, no attempt to put anyone else down. My only goal is to help someone else to improve, either themselves, their situations in life, or the work that they’re doing. I hope to always be critical in constructive ways, for then I’m contributing to the positive side of life and not the negative.
Questions to consider:
Are most of your criticisms constructive or destructive? How do you know?
How many people offer mostly destructive criticism while claiming that they’re offering constructive criticism? Why do they do this?
In what ways can you offer constructive criticism? How is that a form of optimism?
For further thought:
I discovered very quickly that criticism is a form of optimism and that when you are silent about the shortcomings of your society, you’re very pessimistic about that society. And it’s only when you speak truthfully about it that you show your faith in that society.-Carlos Fuentes
If you missed our last Daily Meditation, it is here.
